I realized tonight that one way to be safe during a night run is to consume as much Chipotle and diet soda as you can before you head out. That way, if a creeper tries to grab you from behind the suspicious neighborhood bushes, you will no longer need to fight the urge to puke. Your assailant, covered in half chewed peices of chicken and rice and corn, is sure to be repulsed. You'll have time to run away, get home, brush your teeth, and call all of your friends to tell them how you escaped.
Yep. That is where my mind took me tonight. I didn't puke, I wasn't attacked, but I was ready if someone tried to step.
